What I really mean is…
I am the very last person in the whole wide entire world who would mock someone for mental illness. I have a lot of reasons for that, which I won’t get into, but let me just say that I’m constantly frustrated (read: get irrationally angry) with how society portrays those with any type of mental or behavioral disorder as less valuable because the chemicals and neurons in their brain aren’t working as they should. But the word crazy itself has been so ingrained in my speech...
Read MoreTeam Literary
Are you Team Darcy? Is the brooding Rochester more your style? Does impaling a mime on a unicorn horn fill you with joy? Declare your literary allegiance with Team Literary shirts and bags. Then head over to the eBay auction of an impossible to find Avenging Unicorn Play Set, going until 8 pm Tuesday, May 1.
Read MoreFinding words
It’s been a long time since I’d sat down and completed a word puzzle, which is sad since I find them so soothing. Some people call them word searches, while others say word find. I imagine it’s really a bit of both. Some words come easily, leaping out of the page when your eyes glance over the jumble of letters. They strike your sight, as if mocking how long it took you to find it. I was here the WHOLE time. Why couldn’t you see me? That feeling, the moment of...
Read MoreIt went something like this
In which I explain why my arm regularly goes funky You’d think getting a flu shot early on in the flu season would be responsible. Well, for 99.98% of those immunized, it would be. The other 0.02%, not so much. I am the 0.02% I always thought I was unique, but I never really wanted it to surface in such a painful manner. So I got a flu shot at the beginning of October, the day before flying home to my family after a summer away in California. So when I felt rather blah and sickish, and my...
Read MoreIf God had self-published the Bible . . .
This gem of a satire comes from the ever-witty Robb Grindstaff. Enjoy. “Moses.” “Yes, Lord.” “Download these ten commandments onto your e-reader for only 99 cents each.” “Yes, Lord. Should I share them with your people, the Israelites?” “No. That would be an infringement on my intellectual property rights. Each son of Jacob must download his own copy.” “Yes, Lord. Anything else?” ...
Read MoreNo SOPA for you
I hope my Congressman, Rob Bishop (R-UT), doesn’t mind if I share a few quotes from a letter he sent in response to my remarks opposing SOPA (H.R. 3261). While Rep. Bishop isn’t on the committee currently debating the bill, he said he won’t support SOPA if it does come to the House Floor for a vote. It’s nice to know that at least one person in Congress understands the Bill of Rights. “The internet has proven to be a venue for extensive innovation and growth, which...
Read MoreWhat’s in a name?
“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” It’s a famous line, one of Shakespeare’s most quoted. The sentiment is clear: it doesn’t matter what you call someone, because it doesn’t change who they are. I would argue the opposite, actually, and not out of any disrespect to the Bard. While a rose will always smell the same no matter what we call it, our perception of the flower changes depending on our interaction with it. Falling into a rose bush is a painful experience, and...
Read MoreClassic bandaids
I was really excited after reading this brief bit of news from Shelf Awareness this morning— —until I realized I’d misread it. Skateboards are boring. But bandaids with Penguin Classic covers? Yes, please! So to make a pitch to the people at Penguin Classics, I offer my suggestions for extremely awesome bandaids featuring some of the great Classics book covers. (In addition to the excellent selections above.) *Credit for all these covers obviously goes to Penguin...
Read MoreAn Emotional Love Story
Positivity and Apathy had a love child named Meh. Apathy didn’t care who he slept with and Positivity thought she could change him. But really, Apathy had married Negativity. Their oldest is Rebellion, and his younger sister is Rage. They have quite the dinner conversations, let me tell you. Sadly, Positivity is still looking for her perfect man. Her bff, Hope, keeps setting her up on blind dates, while Hope is already married to the nicest guy ever, Charity. But things are looking up...
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